The Modern Mom's Guide To Effectively Handling Your Kid's Bad Attitude + Back Talk
Attitudes. Backtalk. “Threenager”. “Two going on 18″…. As modern day Mommas, we’ve heard it all, right? We “think” we know what to expect from our children and their behavior in the upcoming years, but is that really our reality?
Whether you have littles at home or you are welcoming in those middle school years, it is my hope today that you will walk away inspired and ready to take action on your parenting approach when handling bumps in the road that we will ALL inevitably encounter.
Remember, I’m not a parenting expert or a psychologist… I’m an occupational therapist and my viewpoints below are just that- my opinion So, take this with a grain of salt and if needed, don’t be afraid to seek out professional help from a qualified professional in your area.
So, how do WE as BMAB Mommas effectively navigate the bumpy waters of attitudes and back talk?
It all starts with YOU as the Momma. You (and I) are in control of our emotions, our energy, and the course direction of our home. When you recognize this (and the importance of it!) ~ you will be better equipped to handle whatever comes your way. As a new Mom, here’s the BEST advice I can give you:
Before we get started…as you know, each Monday I take time to hand pick a review of the week from our podcast show because we LOOOVE our Mommas + SO appreciate you leaving an iTunes review! (Also, if you’re on the go today, be sure to listen in to today’s blog post on your podcast app: iTunes~The Blossoming Mommy and Baby Show). Thank you HaileeKS! We LOVE YOU and are always ROOTING you on our journey!
Kids learn quick
As the Mom of the house, YOU need to work together with your husband to set appropriate expectations, rules, and consequences within the walls of your home. Having a clear set of boundaries will help your children understand what’s right and what’s not, ultimately helping to shape their decision making mindset.
Kids THRIVE with routine and consistency
Think about when you and I were kids. In elementary school we knew exactly when lunch was, what the morning bell meant, and when school was getting out. We expected it and established a sense of security knowing our routine was set. Mommas, the same goes for your kids today. If you want chaos at home, don’t have a routine. If you want cohesiveness and unity in your home, implement rhythms, routines, structure. It will significantly and positively impact your children and their behavior!
Kid’s are watching and observing YOUR energy + behaviors
Since having Brody James, this “RULE” has been at the top of my list. I am SO keen on my energy and behavior towards him, Brian, and those around me. This “RULE” should be applied to you and your family as well. Why? BECAUSE KIDS OBSERVE EVERYTHING. They are like little sponges, Momma… which means your best foot should always be forward. Don’t expect your kids to behave in a way that YOU ARE not. If you’re out of control with your emotions, your children will most likely be out of control with their emotions. MIRROR the behavior you want to see from your children :).
Kid’s NEED the foundation at home
I LOVE this one and truly don’t have much to say here. You and I both know that kids need a good, solid foundation… and this FOUNDATION starts at home with you. Think about this and the importance YOU have as a mother in shaping your child’s Godly character. It truly is a powerful position we have and the ultimate responsibility. NEVER take it lightly.
Kids need their basic needs met
Food, Shelter, Sleep, Love, Play, Nourishment of the soul. Without these needs being met, how can you expect your child to behave in a way that is productive? We, as humans need our basic needs to be fulfilled before we can engage in higher executive tasks (like good behavior). Remember this rule while you PARENT your children!
Watch YOUR words and YOUR response
A fellow mom once told me how important it was to pay attention to my self talk, my talk towards my husband, those around me, and of course, my children. Mommas, I can’t emphasize that lesson ENOUGH to you! Your language, body posturing, tone, temperament, the way you respond to emergencies and everyday life…. it ALL matters. As I said earlier, model the behavior you wish to see from your children.
Age appropriate expectations and response
What expectations are you placing on your children? Take into consideration their age, unique characteristics (yes… every child is different! Even siblings!) and their needs. Growing up, I was a very soft and tender soul (and still am today). My parents had to adjust their parenting style to fit my needs in a way that would be constructive for my development and that of my sisters. Bottom line- know your kiddies! (and YOU as their Momma know them best!)
Lastly, let’s chat about discipline. How you discipline your children is completely up to you. I can’t (and won’t) tell you the best way to discipline because I think this is important for families to decide cohesively TOGETHER. So, whatever form of discipline you take, whether it’s timeout, warnings, count downs, token systems, grounding… you get the point… make sure your kids UNDERSTAND the rules and expectations of the home AND that you are CONSISTENT with your consequences and follow through. When kids know what to expect, they will (most of the time) rise to the occassion!
Okay my fellow Mommas- you’ve got this! Remember, you can be both strong and kind as a parent- so do it! I believe in you and am cheering you on from my little corner here in Alaska :). Do you have any other suggestions to add to the list? I’d love to hear below in the comments or over on INSTAGRAM!
REMEMBER- you can listen in to today’s blog post audibly on The Blossoming Mommy and Baby Show on your podcast app. And.. if you’d like to dive deeper into the services offered here at BMAB from Momma Health to pregnancy prep, healthy recipes and everything in between, please scroll at your leisure with a cozy cup of coffee HERE and of course, come hang out with me and the crew inside our private FB group HERE. Until next time…Go Create YOUR Meaningful Motherhood!
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