Ask Jenni: How To Stay Positive As A Parent in a NEGATIVE World
As I prepare to write this piece for you Mommas today, I want to give a little backdrop of our setting- trust me, it will set the mood for our time together on the blog! Currently, Brian and I are driving home after spending an entire day in Anchorage. Costco. Target. Nordstrom’s Rack… the whole 10 yards. As we drive back through the Alaskan mountains, I feel as though our souls are decompressing from the hustle and pace of city life. The snow brushed mountains, windy country roads, and sparkling turquoise water immediately center us. Throughout our adventures this weekend, I couldn’t help but notice the amount of kids out and about getting ALL. THE. THINGS. ready for back to school.
You Mommas know that with lots of kids comes lots of parenting styles and although we may not all have the same approach (and that’s totally okay!), it is important that we infuse our approach to motherhood and parenthood with positivity.
I saw my fair share of both positive and negative parenting styles this weekend, so I thought it would be a great start to your kid’s school year if we began our week with a healthy dose of positive parenting tips and tricks! Go grab your coffee and get ready to take some notes, Momma! Today’s message is going to be a great one!
Before we get started…as you know, each Monday I take time to hand pick a review of the week from our podcast show because we LOOOVE our Mommas + SO appreciate you leaving an iTunes review! (Also, if you’re on the go today, be sure to listen in to today’s blog post on your podcast app: iTunes~The Blossoming Mommy and Baby Show). Thank you Fifthavenue5am! We LOVE YOU and are always ROOTING you on our journey!
As a new Momma myself, I’ve learned the importance of having positivity at the forefront of parenthood both for my family’s benefit and for my son’s benefit. In a world were negativity and judgement seem to be overwhelmingly FAR TOO COMMON, I challenge you Mommas to BE DIFFERENT. Stand out from society with how YOU live. Life starts at HOME and it truly does begin with YOU. YOU choose if you want to breathe positivity or negativity into your children, so choose WELL!
Here are my TOP recommendations for ensuring positivity is apart of YOUR parenting approach in a negative world…
Be in touch with your OWN emotions
How can you expect your children to behave in a way if YOU are not behaving or in control yourself? This one is actually REALLY sad to me, as I witnessed a prime example of this NOT being carried out in Old Navy. As I was searching through the baby section for some cute 50% off Fall pieces for Brody, I heard screaming from the aisle behind me. I poked my head around the rack and saw a mother coming off the handles at her young son. It took me by surprise and really made me sad for both her and her son. From this example, we can see that when Moms aren’t in control of their emotions and then expect their children to be perfectly behaved, it is a recipe for disaster. Although we’ll never be perfect (nor will our children!), it’s important to model and TEACH the behavior we wish our children to learn and live with.
Step back and view unhealthy “carry overs” from your childhood
This one may be a little touchy for some of you- so a a gentle trigger warning, approach this tip with ease. Sometimes, as Moms, we forget about certain ways our parent’s parented us and now we’re doing the same things to our kids (sometimes without even recognizing it)! So, what I want you to do is to have an audit on your parenting journey thus far. Are there unhealthy behaviors or emotions that you are using just “because” your parents did it to you? This takes some self-reflection and self-discipline but it is OH SO WORTH IT when we can recognize our shortcomings and work to change them in order to better parent our littles!
Firm, loving, and positive boundaries need to be in YOUR household. Your child will not benefit if you are TOO passive. On the contrary, you will also NOT serve your child well if you are TOO controlling or even manipulative. Boundaries take practice and require you to have clear communication with your spouse and children. Everyone needs to be on the same page and FOLLOW THROUGHS must happen. Remember, as the parent, it is YOUR JOB to educate and guide your child. Through boundaries, you are teaching him/her love, discipline, respect, and character. Determine what boundaries are important in YOUR home and be very clear with your expectations.
Add positivity in EVERY area of your parenting journey
From how you talk with your children, to how you talk about yourself and your husband, positivity can be quick to flow from the tongue and your actions~ if you let it! You can TEACH your children how to live a positive life by living a positive life yourself. Speak life over your kids, your home, your church, community, and others. Infuse love, laughter, happiness, joy, purpose, and meaning into EVERYTHING you do! Your heart and approach to life will then trickle down and impact the way your children live— with positivity and abundance!
Know your children
Finally, KNOW YOUR CHILDREN. Play to their strengths. Help them with their weaknesses. I think so often today, it’s easy to prey on other’s shortcomings, EVEN in motherhood. As a Mom, this means that you’re going to have to understand your children on such a deep and intimate level. Acknowledge, appreciate, admire, and celebrate who your kids are! In doing so, you will be building up their confidence, trust, self-love, relationships, ability to make good decisions and really gals, everything in their life. Your children need you to be present and whole in their life. So do it. Show up. Rise up. Take care and pour into those that God has entrusted you with.
Mommas, it is when we do these things that you and truly begin to BLOSSOM from the inside out and ALSO when we can cultivate a meaningful motherhood journey.
Love you, girls!
REMEMBER- you can listen in to today’s blog post audibly on The Blossoming Mommy and Baby Show on your podcast app. And.. if you’d like to dive deeper into the services offered here at BMAB from Momma Health to pregnancy prep, healthy recipes and everything in between, please scroll at your leisure with a cozy cup of coffee HERE and of course, come hang out with me and the crew inside our private FB group HERE. Until next time… Go Create YOUR Meaningful Motherhood!
If this blog post was helpful, please share with a friend and let us know in the comments what tricks help YOU to be a more positive parent!