How To Not Let Self-Care Ruin Your Motherhood 

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Today’s blog post can be found in audio format on
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The smell of fresh lavender whirled around my master bathroom as I sipped down an ice-cold sparkling water and wiggled my toes in an overflowing bubble bath. As a new mom, this quickly became my “self-care” routine for months. I’d spend upwards of 2 hours in the bathroom every night reading books, listening to podcasts, and painting my nails…all in the name of self-care. 

This was okay, right? 

So I thought…..

Until I realized I was using copious amounts of “self-care” as a distraction to checkout from motherhood, NOT to refuel my soul. There’s a fine line between using self-care the right way and using it in a way that will do more harm than good. And honestly Momma, it comes down to three main things: 

Knowing HOW to fill your cup
Knowing WHEN to fill your cup
Knowing WHY to fill your up

Know HOW to fill your cup! 

First, let’s get one thing straight. I’m not shaming you, blaming you, or judging you. In fact, in the name of transparency, I’m gonna go first and tell you that I’ve flat out struggled with knowing how to fill my cup. From busyness and people-pleasing to overindulging in Netflix and junk food, sometimes what starts out as having good intentions can lead you down a path of over indulging and damaging habits. 

This, Mommas, is where having BALANCE and BOUNDARIES come into play! 

Balance is necessary because things aren’t always going to go as planned and you can’t decide to be a grumpy Mom with a bad attitude because you didn’t get your “scheduled” 30 minutes of Gilmore Girls. See what I mean? You’ve gotta stay flexible and find alternate ways to refuel your engine.

Boundaries are non-negotiable because if you don’t have them, the world will run you dry and you’ll most likely say yes to things that don’t serve you or your family well. 

Self-care should be ongoing throughout your day and completed in bite-sized pieces. I’ll share when to fill your day and cup up below, but before we jump to the next section, take a look at the different BMAB approved and non-approved self-care activities! 

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Know WHEN to fill your cup! 

Now that you know what good self-care is, how do you know WHEN to fill your cup? Honestly, Momma, it’s a delicate blend of work and rest. Finding true refreshment comes down to your priorities, schedule, and flexibility. 

Your eyes should first and foremost be focused on God, THEN your basic needs, and LASTLY the self-care routines you need to be your best self as a human and as a Momma. You can (and should) schedule in self-care throughout your day, just keep in mind that schedules can (and will) change so being adaptable (and not grouchy or irritable if things don’t go as planned) is key! 

WHEN TO FILL YOUR CUP: 

  • First thing in the morning 

  • Mid-morning 

  • Noon 

  • Afternoon 

  • Early evening 

  • Late evening 

I suggest creating 6 different spaces throughout your day to refuel your Momma engine. Use the graphic listed above to help determine what YOU need on any given day. And remember! Your needs are going to fluctuate throughout the day so stay sharp and in tune with what your body, mind, and soul are craving so you can stay refreshed and rejuvenated! 

Know WHY to fill your cup! 

Being a MOM is the greatest and most challenging job in the world, right? Sister! This is why it’s SO important for you to keep your cup filled with the RIGHT things! You aren’t doing anyone service in your family if you’re running around frazzled, grumpy, and overindulging on reality TV. Keep your cup full of things that MATTER. Make it work with your schedule and your day… even if it doesn’t look perfect

You’ve got this, Momma, and remember, when you know HOW, WHEN, and WHY to fill your cup, you’re allowing yourself the space to become the best version of yourself you can be! 

Now tell me… what are your favorite ways to pour back into you? Tell me over on INSTAGRAM and be sure to tag me so I can see! 

XOXO, 

Jennifer


Did you know there’s a difference between GOOD and BAD self-care?

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It’s TRUE!

Sometimes what starts as having good intentions can lead you down a path of self-indulgent and damaging habits. 

That’s why it’s so important to understand and identify healthy ways to refuel your engine!

Exercising healthy self-care techniques will enable you to be the happy, healthy, life-giving momma you always knew you would be!